I waste more time on YouTube than I’ll ever own up to, as is the case tonight, watching some of my favorite videos. Dirt Road, by long-time favorite Sawyer Brown, made this particular playlist. The message in the song is so true…that anything in life worth having is worth working for.
And it hit me that it is also true in relationships.
Watching my daughter with her first boyfriend, I just have to smile at her excitement over everything. To her, even the simplest, silliest things are cause for celebration, giggles and blushes. Trick-or-treating with a friend’s small child turned into a romantic couple of hours. Eating macaroni and cheese soup, a fun experience (even though she hates mac and cheese at home). When the recipe doesn’t come out exactly right, I guess it tastes better. Or maybe it was just the dinner companion.
But isn’t that how we all start out? Everything is new and thrilling. Something we might have considered boring before is suddenly exhilarating and awesome…simply because we’re sharing it with someone special.
Eventually, though, things settle down. We’re still happy with this person who makes us happy, but life has a way of toning everything down. Responsibilities, stress, bills, the day-to-day business of living. It all intrudes on the honeymoon period that most relationships are blessed with. It’s not a bad thing, I think it simply means that we get comfortable with one another, and that’s always good.
Well, maybe not always.
Through the years I think we can get too comfortable. So much so, in fact, that we forget about that excitement we discovered in the beginning. Life didn’t just make itself known, it plowed all the warm and fuzzy feelings right over, and we’re left with a stranger in place of our Prince, or Princess, Charming.
Some of us never leave the loop of our life, going round and round, because it’s what we’ve become used to. Yes it’s boring, mind numbingly so, but it’s familiar. We know what to expect…day after day after day after day. We’ve gotten so accustomed to this person we once loved with every cell of our being that they’re basically just part of the decor of our homes.
Others aren’t so comfortable with the way their relationships have gone, don’t see any way of turning things around…and make a quick detour to the freeway. Right straight to divorce court. Surely once they get rid of this anchor weighing them down, they can find the thrill again with someone new.
And still others tough it out on the bumpy, dusty dirt road. They feel like they’ve invested too much time to walk away from the relationship. To them, it’s worth the time and effort to find the magic again with this person they’ve been with for so long.
I think this song perfectly describes the way someone feels in the beginning of a relationship.
The question is, how do we know which road to take? I guess that depends on many things. Whether we feel it’s worth the hard work to search out that excitement again. What our religious beliefs are. How unhappy we truly feel. It also depends on the person who makes up the other half of the relationship because it does take two to tango.
I’d like to say that most of us do choose the dirt road but, with the divorce rates being what they are, the freeway seems to be the popular choice these days. I wonder if it’s a trend that will continue, or if it will ever turn back around.
Only time will tell.
***I wrote this particular blog the end of October and, before I could post it, my daughter and her boyfriend broke up. It doesn’t alter the fact that those feelings were real, or that her heart is currently broken, but it did give me a reason to write ‘Gonna Drown A Guy In My Septic Tank.’ In a book. In a book! Really. I’m going to make the ex a character in a book.