Mosquitoes on Steroids

Last summer I addressed the mosquito problem in another blog.  This year, while they’re not quite as abundant, Michigan’s state bird seems to have grown.  Dramatically.  As I was killing one of the little monsters last night, it actually scared me.  I was afraid there would be so much blood on my desk that it would look like a crime scene.

Okay, so I’m exaggerating about the crime scene thing…but not about the size.  It was huge!  I’m pretty sure if it had landed on me, I would have easily been relieved of a pint of plasma.

It’s making me wonder if the Red Cross hasn’t been doing some genetic engineering on them.  I mean, mobile, unmanned blood banks would certainly be more cost effective than locating volunteer sites, gassing up that big truck, and hiring a bunch of nurses .  They wouldn’t even have to depend on willing donors anymore.  Just send out the new army of bloodsuckers and there would never be a shortage again.

Be warned.  The guy swears once.  I don’t actually blame him though.

I want one of these.  Not for the reason this guy is using it.  Unless I take it to the pig roast my brothers have every August.  With all the beer consumed that night, I’m sure I could get some good footage for YouTube.

Yes!  I can buy a hand-held bug zapper on Amazon.  They’re not expensive either.  I’ll get two.  One for murdering mosquitoes…and one for entertainment purposes.  Guys, alcohol, and a bug zapper.  What better combination could you ever hope to find?

Oh man!  It would make for an interesting reunion game, too….

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12 Responses to Mosquitoes on Steroids

  1. I could use a couple of those zappers as well – GREAT for entertainment. LOL! You must take video…

  2. Debra Kristi says:

    Ha ha.That reminds me of something my father got my mom to do once. Crazy people. The party sounds like fun. I always spray the yard with a bug repel first to keep the buggers away for so many hours. Seems to work. I remember growing up with those zappers in the corner of the patio going off all night. Too funny! Your party sounds like great fun!

    • You’ll have to let us know what your dad got your mom to do. The worst I’ve ever done…thanks to a junior high girlfriend…was hold her hand for a second (yes, I thought it was a weird request). I didn’t realize she’d waited until I was standing on the cold air register in their kitchen. As soon as she grabbed my hand, she also grabbed the handle on the refrigerator…sending one heck of a jolt through my entire body. I never trusted her again, lol. 🙂

      Sprays never seem to work anywhere I go. My brothers sprayed the yard before the pig roast. They set 2 cans of bug repellant on each table. I sprayed myself TWICE…and people are sitting there say, OMG. They’re just eating you alive. Yeah. I know.

      This year, going by a university study last year, I have a bottle of fermented fruit juice, with some brown sugar and Borax hanging in a tree. It’s supposed to kill the queens in a large area (I want to get a few more bottles up). For the most part, we haven’t been bothered by mosquitoes.

      Maybe it’s the ones who survive that that are producing the giant bugs. 🙂

  3. Seriously, what did that man expect? You definitely need to get two! The videos would be priceless. I have to say, we’re kind of lucky here that we don’t get many mosquitoes. Thank goodness because they freak me out and I think you’re right – there is a conspiracy to make them bigger. I blame the vampires. Mosquitoes are like skittles to those blood suckers.

    • I think the guy knew what to expect. That, for me, was the best part of the video…watching him work up the guts (or STUPIDITY) to do it.

      You are so lucky to not have many mosquitoes. They’re nowhere near as bad this year/ But last year, as soon as spring weather arrived, we were swarmed. You couldn’t enjoy your yard, or parks, or any outdoor activity. Bug spray was largely ineffective. My daughter and I probably killed 50 (literally) in the house every single day. We’d go through the house 2 or three times hunting them down. It was miserable.

      Skittles for blood suckers…TOO funny!

  4. Oh boy, if you really do that, I want to see the video! I’m still laughing over the idea of the Red Cross genetically engineering mosquitoes to serve as mobile blood banks. It sounds so very Hunger Games.

    • All I can say is that I’m willing to provide the bug zapper. If I can just talk some of them into doing it…I’ll be happy to share. 🙂

      As far as that mosquito the other night… Something wasn’t right about it. Dang! Sure made me determined to not miss it with the tissue. I definitely didn’t want it on me. 🙂

  5. Can i come to that party, pretty, pretty please?

  6. asraidevin says:

    My kids and hubby have stronger than usual reactions to mosquito bites where we have to use bendryl on their bites.

    I love dumb men.

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