1. Marcy Kennedy
    July 23, 2012 @ 11:32 am

    I love this post. I think we’re all guilty of going on autopilot sometimes. I know I am. Usually it’s when I’m tired, or feel like I just can’t handle one more thing, or when it’s interrupting something else important. But those are just excuses, and if I expect others to genuinely listen to me regardless of the outside circumstances, I need to give the same consideration to them.


    • Kristy K. James...Living, Loving, Laughing
      July 23, 2012 @ 1:52 pm

      Thanks, Marcy. We’re all guilty of this at times, and I don’t think there’s a whole lot we can do about it. For example, I tend to zone out when my son comes out, thrilled about something that happened in the video game he’s playing. I really try to pay attention…but more often than not…I don’t have a clue what he’s talking about, so I nod, smile…and thing about something else.

      Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t think it’s totally horrible to not give conversations like that your full attention. Or something you’ve heard a zillion times before-and pretty much know by heart (because the speaker has talked about it…or complained about it…so much you could recite it in your sleep).

      It’s all of the other stuff we need to work on giving our undivided attention to. 🙂


  2. Karen McFarland
    July 22, 2012 @ 7:55 pm

    Hey there Kristy! You did post more than once this week and I had family visiting. They just left today. Now I’m playing catch-up and I’m exhausted girl. Anyway, I liked mj monaghan’s comment, “The wise guy in me keeps wanting to type, “Did you say something, Kristy?” LOL! He stole my comment! And my goodness Gigi Ann, 54 years? Wow, I feel like a newlywed now. I have actually heard it said that listening is an art. That you can hear, but you may not always listen. When we listen to the other person, regardless of who they are, is it not a form of respect? When we tune them out, in actuality we’re saying that the other person and what they have to say is not as important as we are. It’s really a sign of selfishness. But we’re all guilty of it in one form or another. Thanks for the reminder Kristy! 🙂


    • Kristy K. James...Living, Loving, Laughing
      July 23, 2012 @ 3:21 am

      Hi, Karen! Gotta love family visiting…except for the whole catch up thing. I took the weekend off and will be doing the same thing…because I was exhausted from a busy couple of weeks…so I can understand where you’re coming from.

      LOL about the stolen comment…and yes…54 years is amazing, isn’t it? I have to say that I’m very impressed with Gigi Ann and her husband.

      I agree with you completely about the whole listening thing. I’m terrible about it. It’s like my mind is constantly thinking about something. When the kids want to talk to me, sometimes it’s hard to shut the thoughts off, so I wind up having to look at them, close my eyes, and just focus on their words.

      It’s a weird way to concentrate on what they’re saying, but sometimes it’s the only thing that works (depending on what’s going on)…and they’re used to it by now. They prefer seeing Mom sitting with her eyes closed, than me asking them to repeat what they’ve said two dozen times. I’ve actually had to seek them out because I’ll realize I’ve had a conversation with them…and no clue what we talked about. Yikes! 🙂


  3. Gigi Ann
    July 21, 2012 @ 8:22 pm

    We were married 54 years ago on July 3rd, 2012. And I still hear myself saying, you’re not listening. When he says he was, I say, What did I just say? And believe it or not, he almost always knows what I said. Go figure…

    Thanks for the visit to “My Reading Corner” today, and the encouraging comment… And to answer your question… Yes, the header is “My ‘Real’ Reading Corner.” We live in a small apartment, so I have to make use of every nook and cranny in the room.


    • Kristy K. James...Living, Loving, Laughing
      July 22, 2012 @ 12:44 am

      Well Happy Belated Anniversary! Wow! YOU should be the one giving out relationship advice. Fifty-four years! THAT is impressive. And how cool that your husband does listen…most of the time. 🙂

      Thank you for the very nice review of A Hero For Holly.

      Small or not, I love your little reading nook. My office is probably 6 or 7 feet wide by about 12 feet long, is packed with a huge desk, two shelves and small armoire. But I really would like to try to set up one corner similar to what you have. With a recliner. Though if I can pull it off, I might spend more time napping than reading for a while.

      Thanks for stopping by, Gigi Ann!


  4. mj monaghan
    July 20, 2012 @ 10:43 pm

    The wise guy in me keeps wanting to type, “Did you say something, Kristy?” 🙂

    Okay, I’ll get serious. You’re very right about listening and it drawing people together emotionally. I have had this problem for quite some time. Mainly, it goes back to how stressful work has been, and how focused my listening has had to be at work. Because of this, it’s SO much harder to focus at the end of the day. But I do realize how beneficial it is.

    I love the song you attached. It’s perfect.


    • Kristy K. James...Living, Loving, Laughing
      July 20, 2012 @ 11:11 pm

      You may note, from the first part of my comment on your body part post…I tend to be the female counterpart to the wise guy. I tend to have a smart mouth, and a sarcastic sense of humor, so I don’t mind at all that others do, too. 🙂

      No one is going to be able to be 100% there in 100% of the conversations they participate in. Especially when there’s something going on like you’re dealing with right now. I probably should have clarified that under ‘normal’ circumstances, people need to try harder to listen. 🙂

      I love that song, too. It’s been one of my favorites since the first time I heard it. 🙂


      • mj monaghan
        July 22, 2012 @ 6:10 pm

        I did sense that you are a fan of sarcasm – might be why I liked your blog immediately. 🙂

        But you also have a contemplative, thoughtful side to balance it out. I like this series you’ve been doing.


        • Kristy K. James...Living, Loving, Laughing
          July 23, 2012 @ 3:15 am

          Thanks, MJ. I’ve been trying for nearly a year to find my focus, and now that I have, I’m kind of nervous. No, I’m a lot nervous. But I’ll be sticking with it for at least a while.

          And I think that may be why I like your blog, too. Sarcasm is one of my favorite forms of humor. In fact, my hero in the comedy department is Bob Newhart. I love that guy. 🙂


          • mj monaghan
            July 24, 2012 @ 11:35 am

            The Bob Newhart show was one of my favorites of all-time. He was so subtle. His quips would go right past you, if you didn’t listen really well.


            • Kristy K. James...Living, Loving, Laughing
              July 24, 2012 @ 3:00 pm

              That’s definitely one of the things I loved about his shows…watching people around me wondering why I was laughing. I wish they’d bring reruns back. Of course I’d never remember to watch them. I was thrilled when I found WKRP reruns about five years ago. Watched it for a week, then forgot it was on when Monday rolled around again. 🙂


              • mj monaghan
                July 24, 2012 @ 6:18 pm

                One of the FUNNIEST bits I can remember (note that qualifier :)) was on Cheers. Cliff asks Norm if he has two D batteries, and Norm reaches into his pocket and says, “Nope, just one.” I laughed till I cried.


  5. Debra Kristi
    July 20, 2012 @ 2:03 am

    Listening is essential in any relationship. Thank you for the reminder.


    • Kristy K. James...Living, Loving, Laughing
      July 20, 2012 @ 10:45 pm

      Glad to help, Debra. And you’re right about ‘any’ relationship. I know I’ve got so much going on in my head that I don’t hear a lot sometimes. LOL…and I hate it when I say, “You, too,” to cashiers and greeters, only to realize about a second too late that they did NOT say, “Have a good evening.” Nope. They might have said, “Come back soon.” (or another example I just can’t come up with at the moment).

      Yup, I definitely have to work on my listening skills. 🙂


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