1. Shelli Johnson
    August 21, 2012 @ 4:30 pm

    Hi Kristy!

    Amen to this whole post, sister.

    Nobody likes to be called a liar, but then that’s what it is, isn’t it? And the thing is, too, that you lose faith in that person, maybe just a little or maybe a lot, but still you lose some faith. I’m careful about what I promise now, especially because I have so little free time.

    I love what you say about fixing a drain (or a spouse following through on anything he/she said they’d do) being romantic because it is.



    • Kristy K. James
      August 21, 2012 @ 9:10 pm

      Hi, Shelli! I know what you mean. My word means a lot to me, and I like to keep it. Sometimes things really do come up that prevent me from following through, but those times are few and far between.

      Like you, I’m careful what I promise these days…and the whole ‘just say no’ philosophy is easier for me to embrace than it used to be. It’s easier to do what you say when you’re not overwhelmed with a dozen commitments.



  2. Marcy Kennedy
    August 20, 2012 @ 1:44 pm

    I love this post (though I have to admit that finger could very well be pointing at me). I think this is something we always have to watch out for. My big problem is remembering. I’ll promise something with the full intent of doing it, but then I’m so busy that it slips my mind. I hate that because I know if it was truly important to me, I’d follow through. (We all easily remember the things that are important to us.) I try now to write down everything I promise to do so that I have a visible reminder because even if that particular thing isn’t important to me, the person I promised it to probably is. And I really want them to be able to believe me, trust me, and know I’ll be there when they need me.


  3. Debra Kristi
    August 20, 2012 @ 12:05 pm

    Sorry I’m late. I had to take a few days off. This is SO true. Actions speak volumes. And the lack of follow through and crumb trust. Wonderful post.


    • Kristy K. James
      August 20, 2012 @ 12:48 pm

      You did better than I did then. I took a couple of weeks off this month. Not entirely, but people were wondering if I blocked them on FB because I kind of disappeared. But you gotta do what you gotta do in order to write productively.

      And thank you. This is a subject I’m very passionate about because it damages so many relationships. 🙂


  4. Solved: the case of the angry bird – Natalie Hartford
    August 20, 2012 @ 10:04 am

    […] post on making your words mean something by Kristy James totally rocked my world. I think we can all get caught up in saying “yes” to […]


  5. mj monaghan
    August 18, 2012 @ 2:55 pm

    Shoot, I thought if we just said we would do something, it would postpone it a few days, months, or years. Great, thanks for bursting my bubble again, KK. You’re raining on my personal “romance parade!” 😉

    I hear you, sister!


    • Kristy K. James
      August 19, 2012 @ 12:22 am

      Hmm. I’m getting pretty good at bursting bubbles. 🙂

      Let’s see… The few days would be acceptable for most things (except toilets…if that needs repaired, no matter what is wrong with it, it needs to be dealt with WITHOUT delay-same thing goes for septic tanks). A few months…yeah, that will work if you have to save for things like carpet, or some other big expense. Years would only come into play if you’re talking a BIG ticket item…like going on a year-long African safari. 🙂


  6. Tameri Etherton
    August 17, 2012 @ 8:39 pm

    My daughter once caught me in a little white lie and I’m not too proud to say, I was very humbled. It was a moment where I didn’t want to be the ‘do as I say and not as I do’ parent. I had to own my lie and deal with the consequences. Since then, I’m much more aware of when I say I’ll do something, I do it. It still hurts even to think of it and it’s been fifteen years!


    • Kristy K. James
      August 18, 2012 @ 3:17 am

      That is an uncomfortable situation, isn’t it? I’ve always tried to set an example of being honest, though I’ve flirted with dishonesty on occasion. There was a time when, if I didn’t want to talk to someone…but wanted to find out why they were calling…I would run into the bathroom and hop in the tub. Then I’d tell the kids to tell whoever it was that I was ‘in the tub,’ stressing that they NOT say I was taking a shower. If the caller assumed I was showering, not my problem. Technically it was the truth, but it didn’t come close to setting a good example.

      When I finally realized that, I stopped. Now I just let calls I don’t want to take go, or let the answering machine get it. LOL…I won’t even say I can’t come to the phone in that message. It’s usually just, Hi, you’ve reached…., please leave your number after the tone… Unless I’m in one of my goofy moods, then I leave my Martha Washington message…which is completely untrue, but off the wall enough that anyone calling takes it for what it is. The ramblings of a borderline lunatic. 🙂


  7. August McLaughlin
    August 17, 2012 @ 12:33 pm

    Action really does speak louder than words. And saying we’ll do something and not following up with proactivity makes us trust ourselves less, and gain less trust from others.


    • Kristy K. James
      August 18, 2012 @ 2:59 am

      I think that’s true in many cases, but I also believe there are people who say what they think you want to hear, never follow through on anything…and they’re perfectly okay with that. At least that’s how it appears. But yes, it’s hard to trust people like that.


  8. Natalie Hartford
    August 17, 2012 @ 12:20 pm

    LOVE IT!! So true Kristy. It sometimes seems “easier” to perhaps put off our commitments when it involves our special someone because “they understand” but in reality, they should be our top priority.
    Love this reminder to walk the talk!
    FAB post!


    • Kristy K. James
      August 18, 2012 @ 2:57 am

      Thanks, Natalie. 🙂 I totally agree with you. I’ve talked to so many people whose loved ones would never dream of acting one way in public (or around family and friends), but it’s okay to ‘let their hair down’ around the person who is supposed to be more important than anyone else. It just stuns me when I hear the complaints. What makes that okay? It’s no wonder so many relationships are in trouble.


  9. asraidevin
    August 17, 2012 @ 2:06 am

    Talk is indeed cheap. And easy. Most people say they want to help, but when it comes to actually doing the work …. not so much.


    • Kristy K. James
      August 18, 2012 @ 2:53 am

      You’re absolutely right. I don’t know why people say one thing and do another. It’s jut not right.


  10. Louise Behiel
    August 17, 2012 @ 1:28 am

    so very true – our words have to be followed by actions.


    • Kristy K. James
      August 18, 2012 @ 2:50 am

      They sure do. It really hurts relationships, no matter what sort they are, if they’re not.


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