The Day Thor Came To Visit

When Thor and Debra Kristi were scheduling his world tour last fall, you better believe I got my name on the list. I mean really…who wouldn’t open their door to play hostess to him for a few days?

I wasn’t sure exactly when he’d arrive, and was almost beside myself when I finally heard he was heading in this direction.

First I’d like to say that I was impressed with the clever way he chose to travel. No one would be looking for a  Norse God – such as Thor – to move from place to place in a little cardboard box. But it was the perfect choice. When you’re as handsome, sexy, and famous as he is, you do what you have to so you’re not constantly mobbed. Besides, postage is a whole lot cheaper than gas or plane fares…

For as excited as I was about getting to meet the awesome guy with the hammer, Thor struck me as being just a little blasé about everything. That is until he realized I live smack in the middle of the country…and that there were were quite a few cattle in the field across the road. Quickly searching out the largest bull, he raised his trusty hammer and said…

“I see you have provided for the evening meal, in honor of my visit. Where is your pit of fire located?”

Kristy K. James-Thor spies supper

It took some fast talking on my part, but I managed to convince him there was plenty of meat in the freezer, and that my gas grill would turn out a meal as tasty as any cooked over a fire-filled hole in the ground.

With one last longing glance at the cows, Thor followed me in the house where he greeted my son enthusiastically, then immediately decided he would like to check out my writer’s den – after meeting “Jasper, the Devil Cat” and “Jack, the Giant Pit Bull.”

Kristy K. James-Jack and Jasper

When he realized my office is technically a large alcove off the back hall, he thoughtfully suggested I move my desk to the bedroom…where I could close the door to shut out distractions like the television  (and probably evil felines and hungry dogs)

For as nervous as Jack made him though, it was another member of the household that scared the snot right out of our hero. Take a look…

Kristy K. James-Thor climbing up cork board

Yes, Barbie, or ‘the future Mrs. Thor,’ as she introduced herself, had this muscle-bound fellow climbing my cork board the moment he saw her wearing white and carrying a bouquet. A little concerned that he would cause lightening to blow the roof off my house, I told Barbie she should call and make arrangements for the wedding.

While she was on hold waiting for the minister, I also convinced her that if they were going to be married the next day, it was imperative Thor to be fitted for a tuxedo – immediately. Realizing I was trying to save him, Thor quickly jumped on board with the plan, pointing out that she had ruined her flowers while trying to jerk him off the rope. We could pick up more while we were out, he promised.

Being a bit of an airhead, Barbie agreed, and I was able to get him out of the house and into the van without delay. Poor Thor was shaking and pale, and kept asking when the mail god’s chariot would arrive to whisk him away to his next destination.

Since that wouldn’t be until around noon the next day, and he’d lost his appetite for steak…mostly because the steak was in the freezer in the house (which was where Barbie was on the phone with the minister)…we decided to head to town so he could check out this thing called ‘fast food’ he’d heard tales of.

We hadn’t driven but a mile when my cell phone rang, scaring Thor again.

Kristy K. James-Thor ready to break out when Mrs. Thor calledIn case you can’t read it, the call was from Mrs. Thor.

Barbie phoned to say she’d arranged to have the wedding at five o’clock the next morning. Because I had her on speakerphone, Thor heard every word. Before I realized what was happening, he raised his hammer to break the passenger window, insisting that he would walk to the next location, no matter that California was a long way from Michigan.

Cutting the call short, I assured him that there would be no wedding without his consent, and he settled down, my window still intact.

After supper, Thor spent a long, cold night in the van.

Kristy K. James-Thor checking out his accomdationsThor -checking out his accommodations.

Kristy K. James-Thor partaking of my daughter's favorite beverageThor, after downing a BIG bottle of my daughter’s favorite beverage.

Kristy K. James-Thor keeping an eye out for BarbieThor, buzzed on caffeine, and standing guard in case Barbie figured out that he hadn’t thrown her over for Sandra Bullock (the tiny white lie I told her when I sneaked back into the house…alone).

When the mail god’s chariot arrived, Thor bid me good riddance farewell, and asked me to phone Debra to make sure none of Barbie’s female relatives were living at Tameri’s house.

And so Thor is gone, having not enjoyed his stay at my house at all. Barbie? Well she’s more than a little heartbroken. She is, however, comforting herself with a few of her favorite things….a king size chocolate bar and an expensive bottle of wine…as she watches The Avengers over and over again. Now she’s wondering if Robert Downey Jr. might come and visit next. If he does, I’m feeding her to the cows across the street. Robert Downey Jr. is mine, you little twit!

Thanks so much, Debra, for sharing Thor with us.  It was truly an honor to meet him. 🙂

~~~~~

Be sure to check out Thor’s World Tour page over at Debra’s blog to find out what our hunky hero has been up to on his other stops.

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29 Responses to The Day Thor Came To Visit

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  4. Aww, poor Thor. Scare from a Barbie Amazon and having to spend the night in a cold car. Memorable trip for him and a fun read for us all. I would fight Barbie for RDJ too 😉

    • Kristy K. James says:

      Hi, Reetta…
      Thanks for stopping by. And yes, poor Thor. I’d like to think had he come in warmer weather, he might have enjoyed his stay at my house…or rather in my van…a little more than he did. Hopefully he’s enjoying sunny California more. Oh…Barbie and I have an agreement now. She leaves RDJ alone…and she doesn’t turn into cattle feed. 🙂

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  6. Kristy, can’t imagine all the stress a norse god can cause. Yet, I’m not surprised about Barbie. Doesn’t take much to get her going. Of course, Thor’s a hottie, so what was she supposed to do? Oh well. He’s Tameri’s problem now. Maybe it will thaw out since Thor is gone. Enjoy your steak! 🙂

    • Kristy K. James says:

      Oh…Thor caused tremendous amounts of stress. Barbie had been driving me nuts for months she was so excited about his visit (and obviously she intended to make his stay permanent). I’m so glad we managed to sneak him off to Tameri’s. Some days I wish I’d sent Barbie along, too. And YES! to the thaw. Except there’s a little snow in the forecast again. Fifties this weekend, and near sixty later this week…and snow in the middle. Michigan is weird. 🙂

  7. Diana Beebe says:

    Poor Thor! That Barbie is cheeky arranging a wedding so quickly. LOL. What a great story!

  8. Funny and really well done!

  9. OMG, Barbie is a little she-devil. I heard she divorced Ken a few years ago. She must be a cougar now!

    • Kristy K. James says:

      She definitely is a cougar, Sheila! Twenty-four years older than Thor. Of course I really can’t blame her given what a cutie he is. 🙂

  10. Poor Thor! Did Debra tell you I have at LEAST two hundred Barbies? It’s okay, Thor’s been cool with them so far… He arrived yesterday to much fan fare and excitement in our house!

    LOVE the cow picture. I can just imagine Thor choosing his dinner. The picture of him in the car with the wrap is hilarious! Sure looks cold there. Brrrr. Hmmm, now that I think about it, since Thor’s arrived, it’s been overcast and chilly here. Did he bring your Michigan weather? Yikes. We need the sun back!

    • Kristy K. James says:

      Well I’m glad to hear that none of your HUNDREDS (?!?!) of Barbie’s are on the immediate lookout for a husband, Tameri. And if Thor brought some Michigan cold to your house, he could have had the decency to send some of the cA warmth this way. But we are in for a bit of a heatwave on Thursday. It’s supposed to hit 44.

      I love the way the picture in the wrap turned out, too. It was perfect. And the cow one…I was surprised. I don’t know how to work the focus on that camera at all. It was what the late, great PBS painter Bob Ross would have called a happy accident. 🙂

  11. Love Thor in the car looking out the snowy window–lol! So pensive. 🙂

  12. Emma says:

    Ha ha, fun post.
    I think Thor and Barbie would have made quite the cute couple.

  13. lynettemburrows says:

    Every man, no matter his powers, is afraid of something. To think that Thor met his match, er his fear, in Barbie is not terribly surprising. Hmmm, perhaps Barbie has magical powers as well?

    • Kristy K. James says:

      Hey, Lynette! How are you? Yeah, poor Thor. I felt kind of bad for him. Especially after he chose to spend the night in the van. We were seeing single digit windchills that week, too. I’m sure he’s glad to be back in California now. Although I’ll be curious to find how he handled the MOB of Barbie’s relatives living at Tameri’s house. 🙂

  14. Debra Kristi says:

    He he. Was the big, bad Thor really that shaken by a woman? My, my. Poor Thor. Barbie is one heck of an Amazon when it comes to his size. I’ll give him that. Although I didn’t think anything scared our mighty little Norse god. I’m sorry he was in a hurry to skedaddle. I wouldn’t take it personally. 😉 I bet he could have turned those cattle across the street into a tasty dinner for all to eat. LOL.

    • Kristy K. James says:

      Shaking in his sexy black boots, I’m afraid. Not that I blame him or anything. I mean…he didn’t know Barbie at all, and she did kind of bring to mind visions of a cross between Fatal Attraction and Misery.

      I do have to admit that I’m still having visions of freshly roasted beef. I should have let Thor have at it. What could the rancher across the street have done about it? Have Thor arrested for cattle rustling? Yeah, that would work. 🙂

      • Diana Beebe says:

        I don’t know…After Thor almost got clobbered for horse rustling at my place, he might think twice about rustling cattle. 🙂

        • Kristy K. James says:

          Yes, she is a cheeky little thing…but as long as she stays far from my RDJ, I’ll let her stay. But I don’t blame Thor for drooling over the cattle. I sometimes look at them and think…ox roast! But then I don’t know if the neighbor shoots rustlers or not, so I just open my freezer instead. 🙂

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