The Worst Birthday Ever

This post, from November 16, 2011, brings a smile to my face every time I remember that day. It took awhile to get to the place where I could smile, but a few years…and a little maturing…helped.


My mom was having a big birthday party for me!  Including a genuine, honest-to-goodness bakery cake!  In our family that was quite a treat because all birthday cakes began with Betty Crocker, and ended with some icky decorating frosting that came out of a tube.  But a bakery cake?  Never.  Those rare treats were only enjoyed at graduations and wedding receptions.

But not that year…

It was my fifteenth birthday, and it was the same year I had a major crush on a handsome, talented singer. The same year I wrote awful, mushy, sickeningly sweet stuff about him in my diary.  Regularly.

The crush paled, though, in light of the cake – and the fact that most of our extended family would be coming to the house for my birthday.

I waited on pins and needles for Mom to get home from the bakery, and shadowed her every move, until she set the large box on the counter and opened the lid. It was beautiful.  Until I read…

‘Happy Birthday, Krispy’




Kinda how I felt when I saw Krispy…

Clearly whoever took the phone order had been in desperate need of hearing aids.  Being a hormonal teenager, I nearly cried in humiliation.  The cake needed to be returned…or the party cancelled.  Neither option was meant to be.  Mom simply took a butter knife from the silverware drawer and carefully removed the ‘py’ so the cake read, Happy Birthday, Kris.

Now it’s not that I’m a stranger to the nickname, but for as long as I can recall I wouldn’t need all five fingers on one hand to count the number of times people have called me Kris in any given year.  However…it did beat Krispy all to pieces.  But the cake went down a notch or two in the special department.

Fast forward a few hours.  All of the guests had arrived and were having a good time, enjoying the ruined cake, as well as the good company (I have a very cool family).  About then, from the open stairway, I hear some familiar words being recited…at the top of my oldest younger brother’s lungs.  He and two male cousins had sneaked into my bedroom, found my diary…and were announcing to everyone that I was in love with the singer.

Definitely a birthday to remember…for all of the wrong reasons.

Through the years people have forgotten about the diary part of that day (thank you, God!).  On the other hand, I haven’t managed to live the whole cake thing down.  I blame my sister for this, because it’s her husband and sons who continue to call me Krispy/Aunt Krispy.

But that’s okay.  I can be very patient.  Someday an opportunity will present itself – and then it will be time for paybacks. 

What was the most humiliating experience during your teenage life?


Psst! Did you hear about my new secret group on Facebook? It’s so secret you won’t be able to find it no matter how hard you look. In fact, the only people who will find it are those who have subscribed to my newsletter (, and who send me an email or Facebook message letting me know they’d like to join. That way I can send an email invitation.

Why a secret group? I thought it would be a fun place to just chat and get to know one another. Yes, I’m still a teenager at heart. I’ve always liked the secret clubhouse kind of thing. They always seemed so mysterious and exclusive.


Psst again. Did you know that you can get The Daddy Pact, Someday…Maybe, and The Romance Manifesto free at these fine online bookstores?, iTunes Bookstore, and Barnes & Noble.

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6 Responses to The Worst Birthday Ever

  1. I. Would. Have. Killed. Them.

    That reminds me. I have some old diaries I need to reread and burn.

    November 16 is my birthday.

    Cheers, Jenny

    • Kristy K. James says:

      LOL…I felt like doing something to them. My mom probably wouldn’t have let me actually kill them though. 🙂

      Yeah…burn them. That’s the only safe thing to do with a diary. Trust me.

      Happy early birthday (REALLY early), Jenny! Mine was yesterday…and for the most part I kept it way under the wire. Only one person who wasn’t family figured it out. 🙂

  2. Debra Kristi says:

    I’m sorry that happened to you, Kristy. That would be up there with those cakes where the people actually wrote in the “beneath that” part. That sucks. You have me curious as to who the singer was. You can whisper it in my ear when no one is listening. 😉

    I remember one birthday I was super excited about. I thought we were going to spend it with a family who had a son I was rather interested in. It turns out I was getting a surprise party and my ex-boyfriend helped plan the whole thing. Of course, my parents had no way of knowing he was going to break up with me right before my birthday. Suckage.

    • Kristy K. James says:

      Oh yeah…that party would have totally sucked. It’s weird that he would help plan it, then break up with you.

      My crush? Ringo Starr. I’d heard Twist and Shout on an oldies station, LOVED the drums, and then got interested in The Beatles, and the store was still selling their albums. All it took was seeing him on the Let it Be cover and I was lost. Obviously I had zero taste back then. George was actually the cutest, followed by John. 🙂

  3. As far as embarrassing moments…I have soooo many to choose from. I mean I am the Queen of Awkward moments. LOL I think I shall go with a golden oldie from my middle school days. I was in the girls locker room mostly dressed except for my shirt when the next thing I know a girl comes in and leaves a coat on the bench not too far from where I was sitting then disappears. Next thing I know a guy comes busting into the GIRLS’s Locker room looking for said coat. He found it and was about to leave when another fully dressed girl screams at him about coming in. Then points at me saying, “Are you crazy! She isn’t even dressed how dare you come in here like that!” The dude didn’t even notice me until the girl pointed me out. He looks in my direction, shrugs, and walks out like this happens everyday. Talk about mortifying!

    • Kristy K. James says:

      LOL! Oh yeah…that would have ranked really high on the list of humiliating moments for me…fortunately it never happened to me though. I’m sorry it happened to you, but I do appreciate the chuckle. Trying to imagine the expression on your face when the other girl put the spotlight on you is making me laugh every time I think about it. Did you want to smack her? 🙂

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