Whose Opinions Matter?

Looking through drafts I’d forgotten about, I found this one. Started late last August, it’s still relevant today, so I figured I might as well finish it.

It never ceases to amaze me how many people in the world feel like they have the right to pass judgment on others, even those they don’t know. What’s even more amazing is that too many victims of these egomaniacs take the insulting opinions to heart. However, since I used to be one of those people (the one who cared what others thought), I guess I can’t say too much.

Who are we kidding. Of course I have something to say about this. Probably more than anyone wants to read, in fact.

So here goes nothing…

Words that wound quote~~~

The fact of the matter is that hurtful words from friends and family can crush us, but when it comes to people we don’t know … or don’t know well … why do we care?

Opinions are exactly that. We don’t have to agree with them. We don’t have to own them. We don’t have to do more than let them go in one ear and immediately out the other – and then move on to something important.

When I see the comments sections of news articles on the internet, the ugliness that emanates from some of the readers, my jaw just drops. It makes me wonder how many closet bullies there are in the world, in my world.

Do I walk past them when I’m shopping? Stand behind them while waiting in line at the theater? Do I eat at the table next to them at a restaurant? Are the same people who seem friendly and personable face-to-face the ones who attack others whose opinions they disagree with – while hiding behind the anonymity of the internet?

And what about the ones who don’t hide when they exercise their bully muscles? The ones who feel like they can humiliate cashiers and waitpersons in front of God and the world? Or the obnoxious in crowd ridiculing the not so popular classmates?

What I wish I could I could tell the victims is similar to what Wil Wheaton told a young girl last year. I’ve always liked him, even when he played a bit of a snob on Eureka.


Yeah, Wil Wheaton! I agree 100%! We should never let others make us feel bad because we love something (or someone) they don’t.

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3 Responses to Whose Opinions Matter?

  1. Korinna Rena Props-Berry says:

    By the way- sorry about the spelling and grammatical errors! I typed this on my phone and auto correct tends to make many of us look inept! Haha

  2. Korinna Rena Props-Berry says:

    I read this and many thoughts rushed through my head! I wish to share with you, if you don’t mind, how some of these things have affected me. Like you, I care too much. My family has an ability to rip my heart out and tromp all over it. To this end, I had to realize that no matter how frequently they do it, I will never live up to what they want me to be. I am the only one of the three of us though that went to college, got a masters in education and a bachelors in management and did this while working 2 jobs, raising two daughters, while going through a terrible divorce from an abusive husband, all the while maintaining straight A’s. This just made me an over achiever, but to complete my thought, I have always been a very sensitive, play by the rules, never upset the apple cart, goody two shoes. I like being like this and through therapy, they decided a long time ago which square peg went into what round hole.

    As a teacher and a manager I ran a no place for hate environment. I teach my niece and nephew and granddaughter this now. My daughters grew up like this and they have never in their lives put a soul down but I have seen their so called friends kick them whe they were down, stabbed them in the back and walked away whe they bled. These girls that I am so proud of got up and bandaged their wounds and welcomed these people back with a forgiving heart. I taught them you can’t argue with a drunk, a bully or a terrorist. Just pray for them instead.

    Like you, in public I have often wondered how many people where a mask. I see it on Facebook all the time. I witness disdain and hurt and reproach and pain and wonder how they have made it this far in life. I am a victim of public harrassment and bullying. As I mentioned before, I am stage 5 RA and have been on steroids for 7 years. Along with roid rage has come ninety pounds in weight as well. My husband took me to lunch for my birthday awhile back and two guys at this table down from us said that I was in a wheelchair because I was too fat to walk. Then- just when I recovered from that, I was sent for a bone scan. The nurse at the imaging center said do you weigh over 350 and I said no. She said well you look like it step on the scale. I explained that I couldn’t without falling could she help me. She told me no so I was trying unmercifully to hold on to the bed and get on the scale and the needle just kept spinning and I couldn’t as hard as I tried get up there. She said yep you weigh too much you’ll break the table. I left there humiliated and in tears. I did report her by the way. This has stopped me from even getting a yearly mammogram!

    It is this kind of judgement that people pass and they have no idea what another person is going through! Just because you see an overweight person in a wheelchair doesn’t mean gluttony got them there! I blame lack of discipline and proper teaching as these people were growing up and I danged sure blame all forms of media for allowing only a perfect image to be acceptable. It does not matter your cor, your weight, your gender, your physical ability or anything else. What matters is respect and consideration for the next person. I only pray that if some of these who judge ever end up with an impairment if any kind be it financial, physical etc, that they take one moment and reflect on the pain they brought to others and make amends so that their pain is eased. I live with pain every moment of my life but the words by people I should not care about has caused some pretty deep wounds and left scars that will never fade. As I used to say to my ex, I wish you’d just hit me again because those bruises go away. The bruises from your words will forever stay!

    Thanks for allowing me this say, much love to you!

    • Kristy K. James says:

      Hi, Korinna…
      Sorry about the delay in answering. I’ve learned to schedule posts, and then time just speeds by so I think it’s only been a couple of days…and it’s not.

      I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with so much hurt from your family. I wonder if there was some jealousy because you were the only one who went to college. I do know from some experience that people who try to keep the peace tend to take more than other people will. I think others know that we’ll forgive them or something.

      I’m glad to hear you raised your daughters to be forgiving souls. It isn’t healthy to hold things like that in your heart, so whether the people who hurt them deserved it or not, letting it go did more for your girls than anything else.

      I don’t worry about what strangers think of me. It’s too bad some of them are so rude to you though. You just need to know it’s them, not you. Hugs, Korinna…and never worry about typos here. I never judge about things like that. I know too well how easy it is to hit the wrong key, or to have autocorrect mangle what you write. My worst habit is I think faster than I type, so I have to be careful that I don’t type the first part of one word and the last part of the next. 😀

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