My Feline ‘Breakfast Club’ |

It’s hard to believe that next year, The Breakfast Club (1985) will be thirty years old. I’m not sure how old it was when my youngest daughter found it on a movie channel, but she fell in love with it and has watched it about ten-thousand times since. I, however, have managed to avoid seeing and/or listening to it for the past three-thousand-two-hundred-and-fifty-seven times.

That’s why, as I was about to doze off this morning, a thought rolling through my mind surprised me. Listening to the cats, who don’t always like to sleep when I do, I realized that I have my own feline Breakfast Club.

Just a side note here, but does Judd Nelson’s character remind anyone else of Damon Salvatore?

So how do I figure my cats are like this group of kids? Well, until about six o’clock this morning, I never had. But when the thought came, I realized it was spot on.

You’ve probably “met” all of them before since I sometimes brag on them like they’re my kids (because they pretty much are), but I’ll break them down for you now…

Brian (Anthony Michael Hall): The Brain. This would be Sam, who is always, always thinking. About what, you might ask? How to get his little paws on human food – which he much prefers over cat food. I blame my daughter for this. When he was a kitten, she would sneak him little pieces of Slim Jim’s and Doritos (still his favorites).

Andrew (Emilio Estevez): The Athlete. This would be Lil’ Dude (aka Dude). He earns that title because he’s fast, he can leap tall beds, counters, and sofas in a single bound. And the little sucker is the most muscular cat I’ve ever seen. Very solid.

John (Judd Nelson): The Criminal. This title aptly belongs to Jasper. Jasper can be an evil cat (example: darting out the door and immediately coming back in – with a mouse!). He’s also a little escape artist who lies in wait for someone to open the front door so he can get out to explore the yard. In addition, his main goal in life seems to be to reach out and ~~claw my slacks~~ touch someone as I walk by. And to annoy the snot out of Sophie.

Which brings us to….

Claire (Molly Ringwald): The Princess. Sophie thinks of herself as royalty. She considers herself a cut above the other cats. In fact, she doesn’t like them at all. Therefore, for the past seven years, she has surveyed her kingdom from her throne – the kitchen window (it has an eight inch wide sill). When she deigns to come down, she expects her human subjects to clear a safe path to whichever room she wishes to take sanctuary in.

And finally…

Allison (Ally Sheedy): The Basket Case. Yes, this would be Oreo. I suspect that she was abused before she and her brother (Lil’ Dude) wandered into our yard in June 2008. She can be a very loving and sociable cat … when she’s not being skittish and trying to avoid everyone. I get the feeling she expects us to kick her because feet (when they’re on the floor and in motion) tend to scare her. When feet are relaxing on a footstool, she likes to curl up next to them. After she claws the heck out of them (and sometimes bites).

So there you have it. My own little Breakfast Club.