My Warped Sense of Humor

After getting ten inches of hair chopped off in August – after asking the stylist to take three inches off – I’ve been considering cutting my own hair again. I probably won’t, but I’ve been thinking about it – and what life was like before I stopped doing it about six years ago.

Yes, I started cutting my own hair after getting too many disappointing cuts. I never enjoyed it though. By the time I’d finish, my arms would be aching, and I could never get the back ends exactly even. Even so, I did a better job of it than ninety-nine percent of the stylists I’ve ever seen. Or at least I wound up with cuts I liked better than anything they’d done – which was to largely ignore whatever I asked for. Not something I appreciated then, nor do I appreciate it now.

So that’s why I taught myself to cut my own hair.

What I didn’t anticipate was that I’d wind up cutting hair for half the people I knew. But because I was pretty good at it, and because I have a hard time saying no, periodically, I’d give free haircuts, which I disliked doing almost as much as disliked cutting my own.

And so sometimes I’d have a little fun, and remember reactions makes me laugh every time I think about it.

The first time was one of those moments where the words were out of my mouth before I even realized the thought was in my head. I had just made a cut when boom! I inhaled sharply and whispered, “Oh no!”

Let me tell you, when you’ve just lopped off a hunk of someone’s hair and you do that, they tend to panic. Immediately. The brief conversations that followed always went something like this:

Victim: “What! What did you do?”

Me: “Nothing. Really. I can fix this, I promise.”

Victim: “No. I want to see what you did.”

Me: “Just give me a minute (snip, snip, snip). I don’t think it’ll look too bad. A little shorter than you wanted maybe, but it’ll grow out.”

Amazingly enough, the victims never found the prank as amusing as I did, which might be why they rarely asked me to do it a second time. I suppose that made it a win/win for me though, didn’t it?

Have you ever pulled pranks on people that make you laugh like this guy five, ten, or more years later? Feel free to share it with us in the comments section.

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