Proper Etiquette When You Have a Cold #3

This post was originally published in January of 2012. I’ve ‘re-blogged’ it at least once, and find that it’s just as relevant today as it was when I wrote it. Especially since I’m fighting off the first cold I’ve had in a couple of years. A quick note to my daughter – in case she’s the one who shared hers with me … the butthead reference is for people other than you. But if it was you, we’re going to have a chat about covering coughs. 😀


Okay, we’ve already discussed my thing about germs, but when you see people walk out of bathrooms without washing their hands, blow or pick their nose in public, stretch their chewing gum with their fingers … and lots of other stuff I won’t mention (but only because I’m too tired to try and remember that other stuff), you tend to be careful about the things you touch.   Germs are everywhere!

They kind of had the right idea back then…

So yeah, I’m the shopper who makes a beeline for the disinfectant wipes to de-germ the handle on my cart.  The one who opens public doors with some part of her clothing.  The one who goes through about a quart and a half of hand sanitizer every month.  Who pours half a bottle of Germ-X into an empty Germ-X bottle and fills each one up with alcohol.  I figure it adds more germ-killing power, plus hand sanitizer can be super sticky and this minimizes that problem.

But, no matter how careful I am, there’s always going to be some butthead person…who refuses to cover their mouth when they cough.  I’ve gotten pretty good at cutting off a breath in mid-inhale when someone starts coughing near me in a store – and holding it until I’m well past them. I don’t know if that actually helps, but I do it anyway.

Clearly I did something wrong though.  Because I have a cold.  And I’ a little annoyed.  I have way too much to do to get into the whole zombie thing right now (or ever!).  So I’m going to share some advice on the proper steps to take for people who are are sick … and don’t know how to cough into their elbow or a tissue.

1.  Using a bright red permanent marker, carefully write the words, “I’m contagious” on forehead in two inch high letters.  If  bangs are an issue, find a headband to keep hair off the face.  If forehead is not high enough, shave eyebrows off to make more room.

2.  Place a surgical mask over mouth and nose.

3.  Locate the headgear for a beekeeper and put that on over the mask.  Make sure the warning on forehead is still clearly visible.

4.  Now grab a roll of Gorilla Glue duct tape and snugly secure the ends of the headgear around neck.  Use of an oxygen tank is optional.  Note: if a headband isn’t available to keep bangs off face, Gorilla Glue duct tape can be substituted in step number one.

5.  Plan shopping trips for any of the hours between midnight and six a.m.

There.  A few simple steps and I get to shop in a store where I don’t have to worry about carelessly spewed germs invading my air space.

Like Be the first one who likes this post!
This entry was posted in Love and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Proper Etiquette When You Have a Cold #3

  1. Denise says:

    My husband works retail. People are ALWAYS coughing and spewing in his face! Why do people have to do that? Don’t they realize not everybody wants to “share their cold”? Fortunately, he’s made of some tough stuff and doesn’t get sick very often.

    • Kristy K. James says:

      Honestly? I think they just don’t care. The ‘me generation’ is still going very strong, Denise. If people don’t want to wash their hands when they leave a restroom (yuck!!!), they don’t. If it’s too much trouble to cover a cough or a sneeze, they don’t. It’s no wonder things like flu’s and colds run rampant every year. Of course, I also blame schools. They’re filled with sick kids all day long. The janitors should be opening windows and doors after hours to let in some fresh, non-germy air in. All it takes is a little common sense, but too many people don’t possess that these days.

      For your husband’s sake, I’m glad he’s got a good immune system. In this day and age, he needs it. :/

  2. daleamidei says:

    Dear virus-spewing world: if you could keep your disease to yourself, that would be great.

Leave a Reply