Live or Exist?

Sometimes, when I think I know what’s best for me, I’m 100% correct. Other times, I’m 100% wrong. This time, I’m sorry to have to admit I was 100% wrong. About what? Thinking I could treat my hypothyroidism without prescription medication. While supplements do help me to feel better, I haven’t felt good for about four years.

I thought the change to a ‘normal’ schedule last month would be enough to put me over the top but, while it did help some, it still wasn’t enough. Even a little stress, over and above the garden variety, everyday kinds of stress, is enough to wipe me out for days. Sometimes even longer.

So no more pretending it’s working. I’ve got an appointment in a little over two weeks, and then another three days later. Why two? Because it’s a new doctor, and she won’t order the blood test without first meeting me. And she won’t prescribe the medicine unless I come in again. Sucks, but at least I was able to schedule both appointments in the same week.

Part of me feels like the word photo above. Like I failed. It’s a very small part though. Most of me is so excited at the thought of feeling good again, of thinking clearly again, and of having energy again, I just want to celebrate.

Having to laugh here. Aria watched the video with me and when the guy jumped in front of the truck, then rolled under it, she grinned up at me, gave me a thumbs up, and said, “Wow. He did a great job!” I responded immediately with, “No! He did something really stupid. He could have been crushed by that truck.” Pretty sure she still thinks he did a great job. Now she’s walking around singing, “It’s my life,” the only lyrics she can remember. šŸ˜€

Those lyrics are part of why I love the song though. ItĀ isĀ my life, I’m not going to live forever, and it’s past time I start living while I’m alive. Because I’m tired of being tired all the time and not having the energy to do the things I enjoy.

Writing is one of those things. I honestly thought I’d have a new book out for Christmas but my energy ran out before I got to ‘the end.’

So, as 2019 comes to a close, I know it’s time. Time to get the medicine, to take it, and to start living my life again. Life is way too short to merely exist.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

 

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