Open Mouth, Insert Foot

Today, on the eighth day of Enza’s blog tour, we’ll be stopping off at Hanging Off The Wire.  I hope you can stop by and say hi.


We’ve all had those moments.  Times when, even before the words have left our mouths, we wish we could call them back.  Or that we could have pinched our lips together quickly enough to keep the entire stupid sentence from escaping.  It happens to me on a fairly regular basis.

Someone catches the corner of the doorway with their little toe as they’re walking past…  How many of us have actually stood there, wincing as we observe, “Ooh, I’ll bet that hurt, didn’t it?”  The poor person staggering around, moaning and groaning…probably turning the air blue with profanity, is obviously in pain.  Yet our brains send the words shooting out of our mouths like they were bullets zooming out of the barrel of a gun.

But it’s not just things like this example that have caught me.  It’s never limited to questions only.  Nope.  I can take it a step further…by offering opinions that would be best kept to myself.  Shopping with a friend, spotting a super ugly dress…and actually saying, “Whoa!  That is so hideous I wouldn’t be caught dead in it!”  An ‘if looks could kill’ expression will quickly clue you into the fact that the friend owns whatever item it is you just insulted.

Hard lessons learned there.  Anyone wants an opinion on anything these days and the first words out of my mouth will be, “Hmm.  What do you think?”  Or, “It’s not really something that would look good on me, but I can see where it would be perfect for someone else.”

Someone gave me an old book called ‘Color Me Beautiful,’ and it’s saved me from a whole lot of grief.  For instance, now I know why I look so bad in browns, yellows and oranges.  I have pink undertones (read the book for a more thorough explanation).  Now I can honestly say, when someone shows me a brown and yellow tie-dyed tee shirt, “Those aren’t my colors,” instead of, “Eww.  That’s just about the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen!”  (By the way…pink is one of my colors…yay!)

I know, I know.  There are some who would say I should be completely honest.  Well I won’t do it anymore.  I won’t ever lie, but just because I think something is dumb, unappealing, or stupid doesn’t mean that everyone else on the planet has to think the same way I do.

All of this to tell you something my son said a couple of nights ago…

He doesn’t like it when we have septic tank issues (like I do?), so he tries to come up with ways for me to solve the problem as quickly and painlessly as possible.  Sorry, son, this is going to require an electrician…and  even if a ‘normal’ person could take care of the repair, Mom isn’t touching anything in a septic tank!

While he’s rattling off several ideas and opinions, I’m trying to catch him in a pause long enough to ask my daughter a quick question.  But there was no pause, long, short or anything in between.  By the time he finally wound down, he’d distracted me enough so that I said, “Darn it!  Now I forgot what I wanted to ask your sister.”

He looked at me for a second, then turned around and headed back to his room.  A minute later he came zipping back past the doorway, whipped his sister’s door open and asked…

“Do you remember what Mom wanted to ask you?”

I couldn’t help it.  I burst out laughing.  So did she.  I’m sure it was one of those moments when he wished he could have pinched his lips together in a hurry.  I really do love my son!

Sometimes saying the wrong thing can be really funny.  Pay close attention at 25 seconds in.

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