While it can be amusing to see women jump on a chair if they see a mouse (I am one of those women), cowards aren’t just people who are afraid of the dirty little rodents, snakes, or spiders. Sometimes people have good reasons for being afraid. Near drownings can keep people away from bodies of water forever. House fires can ensure that some people live candle-free lives. Yeah we all have some fears. Usually they don’t have any real impact on us, or those we care about.
However…some fears are relationship killers.
How many of us have been in relationships where our Romeo or Juliet always keeps a part of themselves back? We know they’re not really committed, and we blame ourselves. Obviously we failed to do something right, so we try to figure out where we went wrong…and fix it. After all, if we were a better partner, everything would be perfect, right? Wrong!
Sometimes it’s not about us.
Read the lyrics as you listen to the song. It’s a perfect example of how one emotionally damaged person can hurt and damage the person they profess to care about.
I couldn’t choose, so I’m using them both…
I think this is one of the greatest songs ever written. It’s about a damaged person who chooses to wallow in the pain caused by someone else, and in the process, they’re hurting someone who loves them. I don’t believe that most people make a conscious choice to screw up their relationships, but there are those who do.
If you’re the one who is holding back in your relationship, if your Romeo or Juliet means anything to you, figure out how you got to this place…and deal with it. Counsel with someone. Pour your heart out in a journal. Confide in a good friend (or even your partner). Whatever you need to do to feel free to be completely there, get it done. If you want to be whole, if you want to be happy, and if it’s important to you, it will be worth it.
Learn to let go of whatever it was that hurt you, because that’s quite likely what happened. Whether it was something from your childhood, or a boyfriend or girlfriend who broke your heart in eleventh grade, let it go already. Don’t allow something from your past to ruin your future.
If you’re the one who is with a partner who always holds back, maybe you need to draw a line in the sand. If you want to be with me, you need to step up, take some responsibility here. And then you need to be prepared to make a decision if they’re not willing to do whatever it takes. Are the problems significant enough that you’re miserable all the time? Or is the relationship good enough in other areas that you can get past it and enjoy what you have?
All the romantic gestures in the world don’t mean much if we don’t feel emotionally close to the person making those gestures. Keeping part of yourself off limits to your love robs both of you of the joy you should be experiencing. So if this sounds like you…stop it!
***Photo Credit: KimberMontague
See you next week for a new tip.
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If you think that any of the suggested tips are a good fit for you, and you decide to give them a try, I’d love to know if you got the results you hoped for. Although I can’t guarantee you’ll get any results, most people respond well to sweetness, consideration and attention. Just remember, you will need to exercise some patience, and be consistent. Anything worth having usually requires effort.