How We Judge Others

I’m not the first person to make this observation, and I’m sure I won’t be the last but I have to ask…what is it about the internet that causes so many people to set aside good manners and plain, old-fashioned politeness? All the time!

Words that wound quote~~~

The thing that bothers me most is the grammar/spelling police. Unless you’re career requires that you know the difference between two, too, and to, most people aren’t going to remember the rules they learned in English. Sure, I like to see words used correctly, but it doesn’t make me crazy when they’re not. And I certainly don’t think it means someone is illiterate if they use their instead of there.

I’d hate to be judged on my ability to do (or not do) algebra. And off the top of my head, the only thing I remember from science class is herbivore (plant eater), carnivore (meat-eater), and omnivore (eats a well-balanced diet including both).

Unless it involves measuring cups or spoons, I can’t multiply or divide fractions. Does that make me an idiot? No. At least I don’t think it does. And just because I don’t know (and don’t care to know) much about engine repair or brain surgery doesn’t make anyone who does smarter than I am.

Okay, so the surgeons are probably smarter…but I’ll bet that I know more about some things than they do. I can make several different types of cookies without a recipe…and they taste good. But maybe someone who knows how to draw blue prints can’t boil water.

The point is, we do best where our talents lie, so we shouldn’t be judging anyone who can’t do something as well as we can.

Can ewe reed these sentences? It’s hard four me too right them wrong because it’s natural fore me two spell the write whey, butt when others due not, I can still reed what they have too say. They no how two speak correctly, they just don’t no as much about spelling as I due. And I only no because I have too. (spell and grammar check just went crazy on this paragraph, LOL!)

Okay, I’m finished playing around.

The fact of the matter is, I don’t care whether someone writes perfect sentences or not. What I care about is this…are they a decent person? Are they someone important to me? And if they’re not, is it because I judge them as less than because their English skills aren’t the same as mine? Or because another skill they lack is something I do well?

Because let me tell you…if I am judging people because I think I’m better than them in some way…what does that say about the kind of person I am?

Sure I’ll always consider people who hurt kids and animals to be worse than monsters, and people who steal from and cheat others as scum…but it’s not the same as judging others as defective because I don’t think they’re as smart as I am.

Then there’s the fact that if I set myself up as the god of who is worthy and who is not, then I open myself up for people to take a closer look at me, to notice where I’m lacking. I don’t want to be judged because in my fight against laundry stains, the stains usually win. Or because I can’t figure out how to use the stupid jacks that come with vehicles now.



We all need to start looking at the heart of the person, not the things that will never really matter. Their hearts are all that should ever matter.

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6 Responses to How We Judge Others

  1. I am constantly amazed (OK not so much, but I wish I was ;( ) by the nastiness people post in the comment sections on the internet, it’s seems like because they are sitting alone in a room writing a response that they can be as mean and nasty as they want. I can’t imagine they would say to someone’s face the kind of garbage they write. The ability to be anonymous has not made us a kinder, gentler nation, for sure.

    • Kristy K. James says:

      I couldn’t agree more, Kathie. I think the anonymity of the internet can turn mild-mannered Dr. Jekyll’s into vicious Mr. Hyde’s. If we’re not careful, it can bring out the worst in us …and that’s scary to me. I think what we do – and who we are – when there are no witnesses is what reveals our true characters. And those who choose to take advantage of the fact that no one knows who they really are in order to hurt and insult others…I don’t know. I just think it’s sad.

  2. Alice Perkins says:

    Oh Kristy you have nailed it! A little background here. When I was three I learned to read and by the time I was five I was cooking and baking on my own. When I hit first grade the school wanted to put me in the class with the kids who had learning and behavioral disabilities, why? Because I was overweight ! They thought if I was “fat” I must be lacking in intelligence or social skills. That has stayed with me my entire life. I still feel that I am lacking even tho I have had many different jobs each requiring a different set of skills. I’ve done everything from catering, early childhood development, librarian, nurse, garden design and outdoor power equipment sales and service to name a few. But, still that little girl inside wonders if I’m good enough! Always choose your words with care you don’t know how long there echo will sound in the person they are directed at.

    • Kristy K. James says:

      That is so awful, Alice! I hate when school employees make students feel bad about themselves, but there are many who do. It would be easy for me to say you should just put what they said out of your mind because none of it was true…but the whole sticks and stones thing is one of the biggest lies ever. Words do hurt, and they stay with you longer than the scars from any broken bones. Even words that were never meant to hurt, said at the wrong time, can impact your life forever.

      When I was about fourteen, a relative was teasing me (not in a mean way at all), but he said my shoulders were so wide I could be a blocker for the Green Bay Packers. They aren’t, and never were, but for a long, long time, I felt very unfeminine. I know it was just my age…being an emotional, hormonal teen, but it took years before I could get past that.

      So let’s make a deal here. You’re VERY gifted and intelligent…and I’d make a lousy football player. 🙂

  3. deena pastula says:

    That was fantastic, I know my spelling sucks so to avoid the backlash I make very few comments. Have a great Labor Day weekend.
    from a New Fan. Deena Pastula

    • Kristy K. James says:

      Hi, Deena…it’s so nice to meet you. And thank you. I also want to say that I’m so sorry you feel like you can’t comment anywhere because of people who like to make others feel bad. I’m always saddened when some people think it’s okay to hurt the feelings of others over something as unimportant as spelling and grammar. There’s so much more to a person than their English skills (or their cooking, sewing, cleaning or mechanical skills), and I just wish everyone who says hurtful things would remember that.

      I hope you’re having a fun holiday weekend, too. I’m pretty much staying at home so I can avoid the crazy traffic. After several near miss accidents yesterday, I decided there was nowhere I needed to go bad enough to be out in that mess, lol. 🙂

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