Not Tonight, Dear, I Have a Headache

I have been thinking a lot about my life this year. Given the way 20/20 has gone, both for the world and for me personally, it’s not surprising that I would be reflecting on everything from my health to my career. And I’ve decided that it’s time to put more focus on the things that are most important to me.

At the top of the list, of course, would be my family, followed by a improving my health, and finally, my career. I’ll probably be writing about all of this stuff from time to time, but for now, I’m going to just try to get back to my blogging roots. That means posting about the things that I enjoy sharing with you. That will include recycling some of my older blog posts, from back when no one knew I had a blog except other authors. It will also include new posts on the subject of romance.

Hope you enjoy this post from September 8, 2012. I’ve updated it a little bit, including the font color. I decided I’ve used the plum color long enough. It’s time for a change – and everything, I guess. 🙂


Ha! Bet you think you know where I’m going with this post…and you couldn’t be more wrong. Believe it or not, sex isn’t the only thing that brings on the headache syndrome. Seriously. We’ve all been there, those times when Romeo or Juliet wants to do something that makes scrubbing the toilet, or dealing with the science experiments in the refrigerator, look like fun.  These are moments when we suspect that the delivery room doctor dropped our mate on the floor, head first, when they were born. But guess what?

Your mate isn’t always thrilled with the things you enjoy either.

Nope. You don’t corner the market on cool. In fact, I’d be willing to bet (were I a betting kind of person), that Juliet wants to run for cover when you announce that you’ve planned a romantic evening watching the Barfbowl Superbowl. And I’m sure that Romeo feels the same way when you decide it’s time to refurbish the bedroom. After all, fuchsia is so much prettier than brown…

But what can you do except suffer silently…if you want to keep the peace anyway?

Surprisingly enough, there are alternatives – unless you enjoy that whole martyr thing (and if that’s the case, it might be time to seek professional help).

Ladies…make the football game more bearable by accepting the fact that, while you might hate it, your partner does not. So grab a good book, or your knitting needles, and keep yourself occupied doing something you like. Then during time outs and halftime, pretend you’re teenagers and start making out.

Going to a car show – and not a car buff? Take the camera along. Both of you can take turns posing beside cars like you’re models. Chat with the car owners, always a nice way to spend your time. Ask if the two of you can sit in the backseats of the ones you like, and talk the owners into to taking pictures. Again, make out like you were in high school.

Guys…I’m going to have some trouble here because I don’t know everything you hate to do, but here’s one suggestion.

If hanging out with her friends and their boyfriends/husbands rates a 3,421,876 on the list of things you love to do, I understand that it could be hard to take. But if you want her to hang out with your buddies and their gals, suck it up and go. Try to be your charming self, talk with the other guys. And if it’s really a miserable situation, discreetly chug that little bottle of Syrup of Ipecac you hid in your pocket before you left. Then make sure you throw up in the main party area. Win/win. You’ve put a quick end to the get-together…and your girlfriend/wife will baby you because she thinks you’re sick.

Okay…for those of you who don’t know me well enough yet…that part about throwing up was a joke. The fact of the matter is, even though you might hate parties, the odds are better than good that you won’t hate everyone there. If you put forth a little effort to be sociable, you might just find yourself having a good time.

Stop being miserable…and start getting creative.

Instead of using excuses to get out of things you don’t like doing, or going along with it and hating every second of it…think of those activities as a chance to be with your mate. Give your brain a little exercise and start thinking. There’s almost always something you can do to make them more fun than usual. Except camping. Unless the tent is pitched on the floor of the hotel room. And I get to sleep on the bed. And order room service.

But… Will you be there for that football game? Or another episode of Friends?


See you next time for a new tip.


If you think that any of the suggested tips are a good fit for you, and you decide to give them a try, I’d love to know if you got the results you hoped for.  Although I can’t guarantee you’ll get any results, most people respond well to sweetness, consideration and attention.  Just remember, you will need to exercise some patience, and be consistent.  Anything worth having usually requires effort.

*Photo Credit: Pixabay

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