How many times has your Romeo or Juliet tried to talk to you about something, but later you can’t quite remember what they said? Might have been important, might not have been…you don’t have a clue. Yet instead of saying, “Honey, I’m sorry. I was distracted. Could you tell me again?” you just shrug your shoulders and go about your business. Clearly you made all the right responses, so they didn’t notice. Right?

Wrong! Just because they didn’t call you on it, doesn’t mean they didn’t notice.

You’ve been there. Heck, we’ve all been there. Really needing to talk to someone, to be reassured…or just to share something we’re excited about…only to be blown off. Usually not blatantly, but you can tell. You can always tell. Whoever you turned to isn’t giving you their full attention.

Really dig deep here. Be honest. How did that make you feel? I’m guessing not very good. Now hold onto that feeling…and think about how many times you’ve blown off the things your mate has tried to tell you. How do you think that makes them feel?

Really listen to the words of this song. Consider it homework, a skill you can apply when your better half needs you to hear him/her. Do you know what Romeo or Juliet’s dreams are? What scares them? What makes them cry? When they try to share those things with you, do you hear them?

Romance gone? Passion non-existent? Try shutting your mouth and opening your ears.

Do you want a roommate? Or do you want a partner, lover and a best friend?

After you know you’ve heard what they said, the only other thing you can do is show that you care. Sometimes all it requires is a hug. Or a pat on the back, if what they’ve shared is good (though the hug would still be appropriate here). Other times you might have to admit that you don’t know what to do or say, and ask what they need from you. This last thing might annoy some people, but most will just be touched that you cared enough to hear them, and that you want to do whatever you can to make them feel better.

~~~~~

If you think that any of the suggested tips are a good fit for you, and you decide to give them a try, I’d love to know if you got the results you hoped for.  Although I can’t guarantee you’ll get any results, most people respond well to sweetness, consideration and attention.

If there’s a particular issue you’d like advice about, but don’t want to mention it in the comments, please feel free to email me at:  kristykjames@gmail.com

Okay, so welcome back. This week I  decided that we needed to tackle an important issue…because I know this subject causes a great deal of confusion. And let me tell you, not getting it right can cause major problems in a relationship.

Especially in the bedroom.

Like it or not, if you want a great sex life, you need to make sure you don’t neglect this extremely important area. Something you need to address long before you slip between the sheets.

Most warm-blooded creatures liked to be touched…especially creatures of the human variety. Look at Jasper (above). He’s only a cat, but he’s in heaven right now-because he’s being touched.

But back to the humans. A gentle caress, an affectionate kiss on the forehead, or soft touch of any kind is one way you can be romantic – as opposed to blatant sexual advances and groping. Yes, it’s good that you want your Romeo or Juliet, but you need to remember they’re more than just a body. They have emotional needs that you need to be willing to nurture. If every touch from you is of a sexual nature, it can be big turn off.

Guys…want to earn some major brownie points in the romance department? Slow dancing is the perfect way to take touching to a whole new level. Pop in a CD filled with her favorite love songs. Then light the candles you set around the room earlier, turn the lights off and…you’ll be Juliet’s white knight.

You must meet his or her emotional needs if you expect your physical needs to be met.

Invest in romance like you do in stocks

Both take patience before you start to see a return. At least they do most of the time. A great sex life is the profit that comes from emotional investments. But know this…  If your main goal is to reap the benefits, then you’ll probably be unhappy with the results.

That said, take every opportunity to touch your sweetheart in affectionate, non-sexual ways this week. Tender caresses, hand-holding, hugs. Any physical contact that says you care is fine.

If you’d like to be notified when the next post is available, go ahead and enter your email address in the upper right-hand corner. Thanks for stopping by!

~~~~~

If you think that any of the suggested tips are a good fit for you, and you decide to give them a try, I’d love to know if you got the results you hoped for. Although I can’t guarantee you’ll get any results, most people respond well to sweetness, consideration and attention.

If there’s a particular issue you’d like advice about, but don’t want to mention it in the comments, please feel free to email me at:  kristykjames@gmail.com

Does Romeo or Juliet swoon when you walk into a room, or do they even spare you a glance when you get home?  Is their voice all soft and mushy when they hear the sound of yours on the other end of a telephone, or do they exhibit more enthusiasm talking to someone at tech support?  Are fireworks going off when you kiss, or does it feel like you’re locking lips with a cold fish?

If you’re living more like roommates than lovers, is there anything you can do to change it?

As a romance author, I find I’m a bit of an expert on – well – romance, and I say…there’s a good possibility.  If you’re willing to put forth a little effort.

I have a question for you.  It doesn’t matter if you’re a guy (Romeo) or a gal (Juliet).  What I’d like to know is this – how are your romantic gestures being received?  Are you even making romantic gestures? If grades were being issued, do you think would you receive an A+…or a big, fat F?  Maybe somewhere in-between?  Okay.  Yeah, that was like four questions.

This scene from Two Weeks notice is a prime example of what can happen when love isn’t expressed appropriately.  We all know that George is in love with Lucy.  He relies on her to the extreme, expects everything from her…but gives nothing in return.  At this point in the movie, he rates an F.

Are you a romantic fool, or a fizzled out firecracker? 

If you’d like to add some romance to your relationship, I can help!

Each week, I’ll be sharing a low cost (or no cost) way you can show your someone special exactly how much they mean to you.  Don’t worry, I won’t suggest that you stand on a busy street corner singing Total Eclipse of the Heart at the top of your lungs.  Although if that’s something you’re comfortable with, and you think Romeo or Juliet would start swooning (and not from humiliation), go for it.

See you next week for the first tip.  If you’d like to be notified when it’s available, go ahead and enter your email address near the upper right-hand corner of this page.  Thanks for stopping by!

~~~~~

If you think that any of the suggested tips are a good fit for you, and you decide to give them a try, I’d love to know if you got the results you hoped for.  Although I can’t guarantee you’ll get any results, most people respond well to sweetness, consideration and attention.  Just remember, you will need to exercise some patience, and be consistent.  Anything worth having usually requires effort.

If there’s a particular issue you’d like advice about, but don’t want to mention it in the comments, please feel free to email me at:  kristykjames@gmail.com

I know I said I was cutting my posts back to twice a week, and possibly once…but it looks like the once-a-week thing is about to become a reality.  With a fast draft workshop starting on July 7th, I’m hoping that will consume a lot of my time.  If things go as planned, I’ll have the first draft of the Enza sequel finished in the next few weeks.

So, Wednesday will be the final installment of What in the World?! (which I hope will be as much fun for everyone to read as it was for me to to write)

From here on out, new posts will be available on Fridays, and I’ll be unveiling a new theme on July 6th.  Hope to see you here!

Wow.  There are just no words to express how much the lyrics to this song touched me.  Songwriting at its best…